The Spanish press: An ode to toilet paper
Dear toilet paper, you who clean our intimacy of foul filth ... You who
avoid us to dip our fingers in the most disgusting residues of our
physiology ... You, paper, companion of our sufferings and our joys ...
You, paper, who attend our reflections and our asleep ... You paper ....
I give you thanks and greet your unwavering dedication.
I am ashamed that so many papers are trying to take your place. I find
it unacceptable that so many Spanish newspapers are trying to replace
you in the bathroom. Their presence in your place is an insult to your
good offices. But do not worry, they will not replace you!
They may publish the insults of all Gerard Bellalta or Carlos López
Martín, Federico Jiménez Losantos or Francisco Javier Pérez Trigueros,
they will never replace you. For a simple reason: it is that the cult of
rudeness, the indecency and intellectual filth to which the written
press and public figures in Spain in general belong, falls much lower
than the excrement of those whose back you are wiping. The question is:
what is the profile of those who read it and give it credit?
No ! You must not feel offended by such dishcloths! They are part of
the picturesque cultural complex of the Iberians. A nauseating soup made
up of the attitude of a president who can lie and whose advisers allow
themselves to say to a journalist, while they are in the limelight:
"Vete a la mierda coño! "(1). A broth of lies of the Minister of Foreign
Affairs, the Minister of the Interior, the Minister of Justice, the
State Police, judges of the Supreme Court and the Constitutional Court.
You see, it's nothing personal: they are dirty in their ideas. And even
worse; they claim all this ignominy as part of their culture, their
traditions ... quite the opposite of knowledge and cohabiting knowledge
of the British. No wonder the Spaniards envy the UK so much! No wonder
the Catalans do not identify with this baseness and they want to
separate from this country.
Dear toilet paper, dear companion, I thank you for staying dignified
and do not go down as low as those who want to take your place. And so
that you feel less alone, next time I will talk to you about the
audiovisual media ....
Gabriel Laflèche
